@Divine -- thank you. I don't know why he's comparing but it wasn't a nice comment to make to me for certain. In fact, it was cruel to make that comparison to me.

@Falldusktrain --- thank you as well. If I don't work, then I will perserverate on this too much. Then again, I am having trouble focusing on work at all, so I can't win.
Argh. I did manage to eat yesterday, so that's good.

@continuously_blue -- thank you, too. your advice is great -- now to only just implement it. My mind constantly wanders to him and wants to focus on him. I have to consciously divert my attention back to the present. I have heard of mindfulness, and I've heard it's helped people in many ways. You're right -- I need to force survival now. This is self preservation.

I've been crafting an email I want to send to him in case he writes me and wants to try to mend things. I basically am slamming him down for any chance of that. I've been re-reading it all day long, tweaking it to make it just right. I need to put this aside and not focus on it today. That will be my goal. I am obsessing and these thoughts are not helping me. :/