My ex posted something elsewhere about thinking that the marriage was improving and being upset about how it just ended. I am not friends on there with her, someone else told me about it. I decided to send this to her:

Someone told me about a post you put about the marriage ending. The final felling blow was when, at my worst, smothering myself with my pillow to sleep nightly and trying my damnedest anyway, yet still fully suicidal, even though trying to ignore your controlling behaviors because I thought we loved each other, you came to the hospital and and when I asked if you thought any of the problems were you, you replied "maybe, but you..." That's when I told you we were done here, here being everywhere. You chose to be the way you were, and it kept degrading, and degrading me. I'm not innocent but I tried. I even let you control whatever I did when I came to see you, making me less of a human every time you did. I had nothing left for you at that point, and never will again.
That might give you closure. It helps me.
I forgive you. I am grateful to you for all my wonderful children.

Should I have sent her that? I'm really ok with having said it. It sounds almost brutal but it is being factual and to the point. I don't know if I should have said anything, but it might help her in the future to know that this was the final f-up.