Hi. I'm almost turning 16. I should know to talk to others by now. But I just don't. I have always been more a loner and an introvert, and kind of shy. I was able to make maybe 3 friends in elementary school, but by the time I got to middle school I had no friends (note that I had moved to a new school). I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I was quite awkward. I didn't know how to act around my peers, and attempts to make friends were unsuccessful. I wasn't even aware of how awkward I was being, which sounds weird, but it's true. I also started getting really tense and overwhelmed when someone I didn't know (or just barely knew). My brain would just freeze. I wouldn't know how to act, and had a lot of trouble maintaining eye contact for more than a split second. For whatever reason, my brain wouldn't function and I would have intense trouble getting out more than a word because I just didn't know how to. I would also get a red embarrassed feeling in my cheeks and just feel really uncomfortable and overwhelmed. I don't think it's social anxiety disorder, because social anxiety involves just being in front of people and a constant anxiety in any social area or crowd, which I don't have. An example of these problems is when sometimes, my dad's gf's daughter comes over, and she'll ask me about my day. She'll say "How was your day? What did you do at school?" I'll say "Good", and not be able to get any other words because something will just stop me. I will also look at maybe her shirt or something behind her, because making eye contact is too overwhelming.
Does anybody else feel overwhelmed talking to other people?
I feel like part of the reason I'm so awkward is because of the overwhelm I feel. But the awkwardness has always been there, even before I began intense overwhelm in social situations, so maybe it's just the way I naturally am. I don't know what this is, but I'm almost certain it isn't normal because everyone else, even if they're shy, still knows how to act appropiately in social situations while I don't. Typically I just stare blankly because I don't know how to use body language or gestures at all. I have tried to improve, but it hasn't improved much. I have also been diagnosed with adhd if that has anything to do with it.