Well I saw my pdoc yesterday. He thinks it is possible I did have a mixed episode but couldn't say for sure. He is keeping me on the latuda they started me on in the hospital and giving me a super low dose of seroquel for anxiety.

He was really empathic about everything but gave me a stern talking to about how if I ever feel that low again I need to head straight to the ER because my family needs me alive. He told me about a different local hospital inpatient unit that is a lot better than the awful one I was in.

He is also putting me on medical leave from work until mid December and told me to file for temporary disability. So I guess that is good, will give me time to recuperate. I have an intake appointment for an intensive outpatient treatment program on Monday.

I just need to stay busy and keep out of trouble until then. I'm still pretty depressed but I see my T in about 45 minutes, maybe that will help. Thanks for the support everyone. This disease is no fun.