Are you ever afraid you're making things up for attention? Like exaggerating the seriousness of an episode or something like that? I am. I didn't get much attention growing up (mom was severely depressed, dad ill, dad died, mom lost it). So all throughout my childhood, I tried to hurt myself in order to get attention. Like I remember trying to break bones so i would have to wear a cast and everyone would give me attention. I would jump out of my tree, do jumps on my roller blades, and I even let the heavy garage door fall on my arm multiple times. Thankfully I never did break a bone. I also fantasized about getting cancer or diabetes or some serious illness that would hospitalize me. It went so far that I actually talked myself into believing I had the symptoms of diabetes, right down to the weight loss. When i was told I didn't have it, I cried.

When I was in sixth grade I read an article on depression. It sounded like me. I went to my mom and said I think I'm depressed. She pretty much ignored me. Then in seventh grade I suddenly felt much, much better. Super confident, outgoing when I had been shy, exuberant, etcetera. But in eighth grade I crashed. I developed "anorexia", which I put in quotes, because again, I was doing it for attention. I really didn't eat but it wasn't because I was afraid of eating or gaining weight, I just wanted to be super thin so everyone would notice me.

This continued throughout my adolescence. The thing was, I WAS genuinely mentally ill during that time. But I always minimized because I thought I just wanted attention.

Now as an adult, the same things come back to me when I'm ill. Most of you know I'm struggling right now. Well my therapist yesterday said she was worried about me, and my mind was like "ME? She's worried about ME? how grand!" which isn't how I really feel. I don't need people to worry about me anymore, I'm a grown woman. Even on here I feel like I'm making it out to be much worse than it really is.

But this also bites me in the ***, because I minimize and minimize and minimize and then it all boils over and I've done something dangerous and stupid and messed up my life.

I don't know, I'm not sure if I've explained it right.

TL;DR: Do you think you make up your mental illness for attention? Even if ?that's not true, do you feel that way sometimes?