Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011
I pick up nonverbal cues at a normal level. What trips me up is that I subconsciously choose to ignore it bc it hurts too much that a negative cue is being sent. Like the cue that my supervisor sent. Finally she b!tched that she's had enough of me obsessing over her.
That said, I'm glad I also have another job. THis job is in retail and January will be my 5 year anniversary. I don't look up to anyone at that other job, so things are going just fine. However, my supervisor at this job did make me quit once bc I looked up to her. She felt like she was obsessed over, prolly. I left this company for a year before returning early last year. I found I don't feel any admiration for my supervisor like I used to. As glad as I am that things are ok at this job, I feel really down that I can't safely look up to anyone in general. I just don't know how to go about it. I only recently found out that I need to be subtle when I admire anyone. Like I could very occasionally compliment that person. I found that out too late because my fast food job is in jeopardy. And even if it isn't, my supervisor there would likely never associate with me again no matter how much I correct my ways.
I have friends, but I don't look up to any of them. I just hope to find someone to look up to that I could try my subtlety on.
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Okay, I've been reading through the entire thread and I finally have to say something. Your problems at your job are not because you look up to someone. They are because you stalked someone. STALKED. Showing up to work when you know she's scheduled, staying late because she's working late, moving close so you can eavesdrop on her conversations...that's not intrusive, it's STALKING.
It's totally fine to look up to someone, and yes, it's flattering for someone to look up to you. In fact, it's absolutely acceptable to tell someone you really admire their accomplishments, yada yada yada. But to then stalk them because you "look up to them" is unacceptable.
You don't have problems at your retail job not because you don't look up to anyone there, but because you aren't stalking anyone there. Do you understand that the problems come from you behaving poorly and in a predatory fashion? You will not grow or learn from this until you accept that and stop masking it in "looking up to" and acknowledge that what you did was both intrusive and predatory.
I'm sorry to be so harsh, I just want you to understand the severity of what you were doing, which you don't seem to do. Getting written up by the district manager was not because you admired your supervisor, it's because you stalked her and behaved inappropriately. And also, a side note, your supervisor is going to talk about her employees to her supervisor, the district manager, so there's no sense in being angry about that. That's part of their job.
I hope you are able to put your perspective into reality and not just what you want it to be. I think you will continue to have this problem until you recognize that stalking behavior is inappropriate at best. That or you will lose your job or get in trouble with the law because of it.
Seesaw