I could almost have written the OP. When I was a child, I used to try to make myself sick so I would get something besides negative attention. I'd sit out in the cold rain for hours, hoping I'd contract pneumonia and die, or at the very least end up in the hospital. I can't believe I'm saying this. I never actually self-harmed though. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's ever tried to make themselves sick or break bones to get the caring that should have been ours by right.

I never realized until after I'd been diagnosed bipolar that I was one seriously ****ed up little kid. I look back now and see the signs that something was very wrong even when I was a preschooler. But my parents lived in a time when mental illness was a taboo subject and they swept everything under the rug, even though it should have been obvious to everyone that I had issues. Sometimes I feel really sorry for that little girl.