He said it was a boundary issue and mentioned something about dual role, which I don't think applies to this situation if I understand dual roles correctly. Just, whatever. I was already feeling like I don't really matter after dealing with the criminal justice system yesterday and today. Now I feel like I don't really matter to him either. He says I matter and he cares but I don't feel it right now. I don't think the boundary thing is a cut-and-dried argument. This event is a one-time-only deal. I would have felt so supported if he had agreed to come. I feel completely alone right now. I'm not sure I even want to attempt to do this now. What's the point. Nobody I'd be speaking to cares that he hurt me.

I'm trying not to feel anything right now. I just don't want to care anymore.