For those of you who don't know my husband is in jail for abuse charges. I just found out they are wanting to plea him out with a misdemeanor charge with probation and no contact for a year. This is the first time anything like this has happened and I am almost positive it will never happen again. I feel so depressed right now. I want to help cause I think the no contact order is way to much. I want my husband home and if he can't come home I don't know what I will do. I'm already fighting with thoughts of self harm and other dark thoughts come to mind. I just can't take it. I know I have to be strong for the kids and I have to work in order to keep us a home but I am ready to break. I'm freaking out and I don't know how to keep this from happening. He just pushed me, no physical harm came, but he did get in a fight with my son and barely connected once. My son beat his butt. He was drunk and know that ain't an excuse but it would have not happened otherwise. I'm falling apart and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't do this, I just can't. It is going to suck me into a deep depression and I will not have an option to go to the ER cause i can't miss work.