@Winterbritt - Thanks for checking. It'll all a bit much to digest, to be honest.
I have just been reading up and watching content about cyclothymia and unipolar/bipolar depression etc and educating myself.

The doctor said, well done on deciding to go see him and talk this through and that was the most difficult step.

It has been, tbh.

I always thought, I was in control and it was in my hands, I still believe I can pull myself out of this having done it so many times in the past, but I am fed up of this cycle.

One thing I am determined is it can't go on like this and I want to see this thing through to completion and get over it or learn to handle it better.