I have known that my mom is going to die from cancer, but just today I found out that she has less than 6 months to live. I thought I was ok with it as I knew this day would come, but I realize that I am NOT ok with it. I am ! This isn't fair. I didn't get to grow up with her after the age of 3.
I am now 33 and I moved up to where she lives so I could be around and do things for her. I have only been here for 3 months and THIS is the kind of news I get.
I am at a loss. I don't know what I am going to do when I lose her. I have my boyfriend and I love him with all my heart, but I am afraid that won't even be enough to sustain me. I am scared, I am livid, I am confused and I am dying right along with my mom.
I am living to make her last days as comfortable as possible. The pain meds aren't working anymore. She sleeps all the time and rarely eats. She is giving up.....I wish she would just NOT give up. I'm not ready to lose my mommy!
OK, I am done. I won't go on any more. I just needed to vent.