She has no idea how she is making her life more difficult. So I don't think she knows she can reduce the chaos she brings to herself. Last night she was on the phone talking about some drama going on with her group of friends. Honestly, I think she may believe chaos and drama IS life. I'm sorry I don't make a distinction between wishing something on someone and wishing something for someone, to me that's just a meaningless discussion about a single word. I wish for her life to be less chaotic and dramatic, as it does appear to make her unhappy. And I'd really like to stop making this about me. It's about my desire to see her happy through some minor changes that will vastly improve her life, as it did for my husband and my son. That's it. I will move forward in my life exactly the same whether these changes happen or not. This isn't about me. I haven't even tried to talk to her about this and since so many here think this is about me, I think I will abandon any attempt to help her at all, as that seems to be somehow infringing on her "right" to have a chaotic life, at the same time it's making this all about me.

But thank you to everyone for their comments.