Hi everyone. I really could use some guidance. I have a very close friend who lost her husband in an overnight accident leaving her a widow with several small children. This happened almost a year ago. I believe she has "complicated grief" and has also been turning to alcohol and drugs to cope. I and our other close friends and family don't know what to do. If anyone tries to approach her even in the gentlest of ways she lashes out and says no one can understand her. She says she feels all alone even though she has the most support I have ever seen this far along. (I too have had an immediate family member die but I can't relate to it being a spouse).

I'm really just looking for help. How do we talk to her even just about normal things? She seems to try to push everyone away and is cold and mean and honestly hurtful to everyone around her. Just lashes out. A friend gently suggested therapy to her and she went off on her. Are we as friends supposed to say something when she turns to alcohol and getting high or is there nothing we can say or do that has any real impact?

Really appreciate any help! Thank you!