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Old Oct 26, 2017, 07:28 PM
Anonymous40057
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vishva8kumara View Post
I have talked about this with my previous therapist, but not with my PDoc yet. What my therapist said was that most men are like this, and that now I'm a grown up adult with a job, it really doesn't matter. So that made me think of not bringing this up again at my PDoc.

But I understand that all those other things I'm suffering such as OCD, GAD, Insomnia and IBS are just symptoms from the underlying problem. I have taken several self diagnostic Autism and Asperger tests, and they all suggest a very high probability of high functioning autism.

I'm married in a dysfunctional marriage. I'm a software engineer in profession, and I can be proud of my career and achievements. I'm quite revered among my colleagues for my intellectual prowess in the field.

At school, I was considered a freak, and I would in many occasions ally with the bullied against the bullies. Many teachers has complained my parents that I'm not paying attention at the classes, because I do not look at the teacher and their eyes. But I do listen to every single word they say with undivided attention; only that they do not see me looking at them. But the wisest teachers know that I'm the one giving the most attention. Even to the day, I find it quite difficult to keep an eye contact.

I do several sports, but not any team sports. Archery and Badminton at the moment. Because even in badminton dual play I find it hard to keep track of the one other team member and coordinate.

I can't stand dumb people, and I get very irritated if someones stupidity bothers my matters. It is very hard for me to walk on a crowded street for a couple of reasons. I find it very uncomfortable to be touched by a stranger. As soon as I reach safe place, I need to wash away any dirt I got from people outside. When outside, I'm constantly worried if I would have dropped something, so I need to check the way I have passed, not just once, but several times. This irritates me, and specially when other people look at me and what I would be searching for, or to help me search what I'm looking for. It makes me feel pathetic. I just can't help it.

I can look at a bunch of numbers and see so many patterns. My field of research is Enterprise Intelligence, and it involves writing programs to see patterns in numbers and relations between pieces of information. I see patterns everywhere. When other people scratch the surface, I see through the flesh to the gears, nuts and bolts. Since I was like 8~10, I could take down a clock or a Walkman mechanism and put it all back together.

My mom says, when I was like 3~4, I was not talking and when I started speaking I was talking long sentences at a very high pace that many other people couldn't comprehend it. So my mom had to train me speak in a slower pace so other people can understand. My mother has been very helpful throughout my development. She is a science teacher with an old school diploma in child psychology. She knows I have been a different child, but probably does not know a word for that difference. About my current status of anxiety related complications, she often asks me "what are the problems you have to worry so much". But it is not just about "some problems"; anxiety can come out of nowhere.

Most of my childhood was spent with my grandmother, while my parents had their job far away. It is hard for me to explain emotions I have. Keeping thought records is a difficult thing. I have so many internal dialogues and trains of thoughts going at many directions at the same time. That could be one reason for being unable to fall asleep.

Those are just some stuff I'm/I've gone/going through. I do not know weather I should talk about this with my PDoc too. Maybe she has already figured it out.. Does it worth a diagnosis, and what (treatment) options would open after a diagnosis.
You have quite a load of things that seem to cause you concern. I think there is hope though. My son used to write his thoughts on little pieces of paper and save them. Example: "at school today, ryan lost his notebook." Clearly this isn't really an important thought to remember. And he had a big box of these seemingly irrelevant thoughts written down. So I can understand how some peoples' brains work very differently than other peoples' brains.

This is just one of about fifteen things he did that puzzled me. There was never a diagnosis further than OCD and anxiety. I think he's autistic, but I haven't pushed for that diagnosis, because he took the eleven suggestions I gave him (as an adult) and implemented those he chose. He didn't change all eleven things on the list, perhaps he changed 6 or 7, but with each one he changed his life changed. You see it's not possible to change something in your life and have your life not change. If you quit your, job your life will change. If you give up having a car, your life will change. If you stop bathing, your life will change. Anyway, you get the point. My son was unhappy from about age 3 until about age 24. He had to detox from 6 or 7 different meds at age 24.

Today, he's med free, anxiety free, OCD free and depression free. He still has some odd behaviour, but mostly he seems happy now. This is the list. I'm not suggesting this will change your life, I'm just saying this is the list I gave him that changed his life:

1. Dietary change - less junk and sugar, more healthy food
2. Less caffeine and no caffeine after 3:00 pm
3. Sleep schedule change - sleep from 11:00 pm to 8:00 am, instead of 3:00 am to 2:00 pm
4. Get a hobby or learn something new
5. Workout - walk, run, swim, hike - 3 times a week
6. Take supplements - lavender, ashawaganda, passion flower
7. Meditate or have some kind of spiritual thoughts or beliefs
8. Read a book, it doesn't matter what it's about, as long as it's not stuff you already know about - fiction is good
9. Be grateful - express gratitude for what you do have
10. Be positive - because positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative
11. Go to a dog park and pat someone else's dog (with permission) or get a pet

He didn't do all of these things, but he did enough of them that it changed his life. He went from detoxing from seven different meds and being angry and ornery for an entire year to becoming happy and pretty much easy to be around. He knows what he wants and just now graduating from university. He has a best friend and is very creative and productive with his time.

And he couldn't talk to the server in restaurants until he was about fifteen. I had to order his food for him. This is all different now. Really it boils down to behaviour modification, which he chose to do on his own, because he really didn't want to go to therapy. Although I think therapy is very beneficial and now that I mention it, it was the twelfth thing on my list. And I think you would benefit from Turmeric supplements. Turmeric is actually a spice, but it has great benefits to the brain. I take it, but it tastes bad, so I take Turmeric capsules. I can't eat Turmeric on my food.
Thanks for this!
eskielover