Thank you, PVB, for your understanding. I would guess that among those challenged by chronically recurring depression, many have their toughest time in the morning. There is the inertia. Once I've had to get moving and have gained momentum, that momentum can carry me along. But I'm a homebody now; my job is mainly here in the apartment. I wake up sore and tired and now with that tone in my head.

But today a neighbor told me my car tires looked low. The car sits unused so much. So I took off to a shop to get air. Just getting out of the house to do that interrupted my awful train of thought, where I felt the tinnitus was crushing me and I wished to be taken out of this life. All I could think is: this won't ever stop. I can't escape it. But I was, at least, partly wrong. Once I was out in the sunlight and bright, crispness of a nice fall day, I was able to stop thinking about it. Once out, I decided to do some shopping that I enjoyed. At the store, I lost awareness of the "tone." Surrounded by the sights and sounds of nice things at the store, I wouldn't even know it was there.

I have to not forget the lesson of today. But I will. I will. That's the awful thing. In the morning, going out of the house will seem like too much effort. I have to find a way to not get sucked down by that undertow that will be there.