“Twenty grams per week”? That’s more than my monthly use! Three grams a week doesn’t sound as if it should be problematic but as cannabis use is negatively effecting your life I would urge you to quit. You may go a few nights without sleeping but you’ll be able to drive!

As for gambling - do you see a therapist or psychiatrist? Gambling addiction (I think I wrote?) is recognized as a psychiatric illness. I have no love of 12-step programs - and I was forced to attend well over 9,000 various 12-step meetings over a three-year period. I know that getting that 30-day chip can be gratifying but, jesus, 31 days isn’t a long time, is it? I get a bit nauseous when I read that you believe that you’ll need to attend 12-step meetings for the remainder of your life - that’s what we anti-12-steppers call ‘trading one dependency for another.’ You are dependent on gambling for gratification, right? A psychiatric illness that suggests that psychiatric treatment might be better than picking up a white chip every couple of months.

If possible, were I you, I would put your cannabis savings toward seeing a good therapist and only guardedly attend the GA meetings.

NOW you’re expressing what you feel! I can understand getting pissed and angry at others when they are disagreeable (or just stupid). I don’t think that the calming effect of weed is worth the negative aspects that you’ve named, though. I would still urge you to toss the bong. Is there any specific disagreeable behavior that others exhibit that sets you off? As I’ve written previously, my anger trigger is stupidity, primarily. I cannot abide ignorance. I am infuriated by, for instance, ‘holocaust deniers’ and (in general) the ultra-religious. So what, specifically, makes you angry about these encounters?

It also sounds as if you internalize your anger? I realize the extraordinary difficulty of telling a customer that they are making you angry but, with others, do you ever respond with an “It makes me angry when you...”?

That response - acknowledging my anger openly - is one of my coping stratagies. But you can’t do that with a customer, I know. Do you have a co-worker that you could talk with, saying “This customer really made me mad because...”?

So now I’d like to know the specifics of what pisses you off in these social encounters. I’m no doc so I can’t say if increased anger is symptomatic of BPID. I can say, from personal experience, that internalizing anger (or using any substance to calm yourself) can lead to some disastrous issues.

Let’s keep talking, okay?