Quote:
Originally Posted by Bookworm257
Hi. So, my whole life it was very hard for me to make friends, because I was just really awkward and didn't know how to act around my peers. I also have a tendency to get overwhelmed in social situations, where my brain basically shuts down and I can't get more than a word or two out when asked something, because my brain won't let me for some reason, but the intense overwhelming feeling only started in middle school not that long ago. I only began to realize I was socially awkward about six months ago when my dad's gf pointed it out to me. I had been staying with her mother for a few days while they were away, and when she got back she was told by her mother that I had been acting very awkward to the point it was a little rude. My dad's gf also mentioned that I sometimes didn't respond when her daughter (who I don't know very well) says hello and that that was rude. The truth is, I have a hard time with being aware of how Im presenting myself socially. I don't know how to act appropriately, and cannot maintain eye contact. I have trouble expressing emotion, and often stare blankly when talking to people I don't know or know well.
As for other traits of autism, like stimming for example, I do like to rub my fingers together and flick them, and when I am completely alone, I like to clap loudly or move my arms up and down and shake my hands out violently, or spin around. I also have a sensitivity to loud sounds, and will often ask my parents to turn down the tv, even if it's fine for them.
I have taken a test online. I got a score of 38, and for a high likelihood of autism it needed to be a score of at least 34, so I think that's another indcator.
|
I think this post is your first step to wanting to understand these things you describe. That's excellent. Let's say you are autistic, it's really your choice whether to seek a diagnosis or not. There are many people who believe everyone around you should indulge all of these things. If this happens, it weakens you. The thinking around this is "just accept all his abnormalities because he can't help it" means you are being abandoned and will get no help. Some of the things you experience are difficult or impossible to change, others may be easier to change, but that doesn't mean we, us, the greater community, should give up on you.
There's something called mindfulness and there are people who will tell you autistic people can't do mindfulness. Well I'm pretty sure autistic people have minds, and that's all it takes to do mindfulness, having a mind. Mindfulness is a form of behaviour modification. So a person looks at each behaviour that is causing them concern, as it happens, and re-directs their behaviour.
Example:
A person who has to measure to ensure all of their furniture is exactly three inches from the wall might pause with the ruler in their hand and say to themselves "is anything horrible going to happen to me if my furniture is not exactly three inches from the wall?" The answer for everyone is 100% no. Albeit something bad might happen in your mind, but that's not real. Once that person points out to their brain, through mindfulness, that their behaviour is unnecessary, they have the power to stop that behaviour.
Another important point, those who claim you have to accept the odd behaviours of autistic people as "they can't change those behaviours" are disempowering you from improving your life. If you believe you can't change anything about your behaviour that belief alone will stop you from changing your behaviour and thus improving your life. You can't do more than you believe you can do. So please don't allow that false belief into your thinking. People with autistic behaviours have been successful at altering some of those behaviours. Some people have been successful at altering all of those behaviours. So please don't indulge the ones who subscribe to the idea that we should all just accept autistic behaviour and give up on those people.