my T is trying to find a way, "to get the lid off", without me killing myself or anyone else ... so far no real success .. but we are trying ...

I learned ( or feared) if I lashed out ... someone might die ... and I was not ready for that ... so the kettle boils with no vent hole ... some day ...

that is the most important thing I get from my meds ... the numbing effect ... to keep the inner tumult inside ...

that anger is where I go , when not too (blah) by depression to care .. though I hate it ... my being depressed is the best thing for those around me ... what a ****ed up little boy am I ... Tigger.