He's asking you to keep it a secret so he can abuse you, rape you, maybe kill you. Seriously, even if you don't tell them why, you should at least be able to tell your family you're going to visit a friend and the address so they know where you are if you never come back.

You're half a virgin (not sure what that means, either you're a virgin or not) and you want to go be with a man who refuses to let you use his name and wants to do hard core BDSM with you when you're not even experienced enough to really know what you like. You've even said in another thread that you don't like it all that much.

Here you are saying that it's just friends with benefits and that you are actually broken up? He's using you. He is never going to be with you, and he is never going to give you want you want and need to feel safe and secure. This has nothing to do with BDSM; this has to do with him emotionally and physically abusing you.

Please call this trip off and take your safety as a priority. No matter what you do, he is not going to be there for you emotionally. Sex is not going to create an emotional relationship for him.

I have had long distance relationships and visited my lovers cross-country. None of them ever asked that I lie to anyone about where I was going. There is so much not right about this. Seriously, I do think he may try to kill you or put you in a box and keep you in the basement and rape and abuse you. Or sell you into sex trafficking.

Please please be careful.

Seesaw