Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
You want something bad to happen to you? News flash: something bad is already happening to you. Trust me, you don't want worse to happen to you. It's almost obscene that you would say that when so many people here have been abused and raped and you want something bad to happen to you?
You don't have to have an illness to see a therapist. You can see a therapist to learn better communication skills or to be more assertive or to work on not accepting bad relationships. You need to work on your self esteem and self worth because clearly you do not value yourself and your own needs enough. You talk a lot about the things that you want but you seem to think you have to settle for this guy because he's the only guy you've ever known. You're afraid to accept that you are worth more and deserve better.
Seesaw
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Thank you. I´ve probably triggered every single person who´s seen my post by how immature and naively stubborn i act. Believe me, i know how stupid i sound.
This relationship feels right and good and cute and lovely half of the time, and excruciatingly terrifying and wrong half of the time.
I think he knows our relationship is bad too. He said once that he knows there´s a wrongness in our relationship but that he likes it. Said once he didn´t want to go to jail because i liked feeling like a victim.
Sorry that this will be a long reply, but so many nice people have responded to my post that i feel the need to write something that i´ve gotten out of/learned from everyone´s advice.
-Option 1, i stay and love him and things probably most ****ing likely go to hell
-Option 2, i leave him and heal (too impossible, i can´t)
The best option: He gets a girlfriend so i don´t have to be with him anymore, him leaving would fix everything
What i´m going to do in the near future: I won´t be able to do anything drastic, but i will NOT travel to visit him, and i will contact a therapist and tell them about all of this mess.
Thank you again.