For most part, I try to hide everything so I don't draw attention. I tend to just not say anything at all. I get very ashamed and very anxious to have people pay attention to my mental illness. Unless the person I'm talking to has it too.

This is why I struggle so badly with talking to pdoc and am reluctant to find a T. All that attention for so long on me. I often won't call pdoc and get sooner appointments, so I'm often in bad shape before I see him.

I have family members that get angry at me if my mental illness shows. When I was a teen, I once got yelled at for being depressed and isolating. Probably part of why I get so anxious.