Hi Josie,
I'm sorry you are feeling so down currently.
Bipolar, with its changing moods, has got to be really dificult to deal with.
I'm glad you will be starting therapy shortly. That should provide you a steady basis for support.
Try to forgive yourself for things which happen as a result of your diagnosis. I have always been pretty hard on myself, so I know it is easier said than done, but it will help you to feel better if you can.
EJ