These statements really stand out for me. It's one of the most difficult sticking points in therapy because, while I have never asked for any of this from my therapist, she has continually pointed out to me that I need to learn to hug myself, and for those inside to comfort each other. It feels like such a cruel thing to say because, like you, I don't know how to conjure up something for myself that I haven't experienced.

I'm starting to understand what my therapist means, and I can see how she's right, but it's just enormously painful and hard not to hear it from her in shaming/rejecting tones--especially since this isn't even something I've brought up to her.

And yes, resoundingly, it interferes with my ability to recover from old wounds.