I've been on bipolar meds for three years now, and it only seems like they've started to somewhat work in the past month or so. I still have ups and downs even though I'm pretty heavily medicated. I still get severe depression, while the 'hypomania' seems rather mild. Both states only last for a few days until I return to my mildly depressed baseline. Thanks to Lithium, even when I'm in my deepest depressive phases I don't get a single fleeting thought of harming myself. It's been nice, actually.

Here's the thing, though: I'm honestly not sure I have this disorder in the first place. I feel like I over-exaggerated the symptoms I was experiencing to my therapist even though I know for a fact I've experienced hypomania before as a kid, there's no doubt there. I think those times were just blips in my system, though.

Anyway, even though I'm 'stable' right now, I want to get off these meds now more than ever. I feel like they've sapped my brain power. I used to have an excellent memory and motivation but ever since going on meds it's changed.

Maybe I don't really belong here. I don't think I experience the same struggles many of the other people here do. It feels like I've just been able to ride my way through this.