[QUOTE=starrysky;5870508]I'm kind of concerned that I'm wasting my life. I'm pretty much just really lonely right now. I notice that there's not much I feel like doing with other people in groups (involving doing new things, meeting new people, etc), out of fear and also depression. I don't have a job. I'm interested in taking a writing class and also in dating. But taking a writing class scares me (sharing my work? Eek!), and I've had a lot of dating difficulties in the past, so I think it's best to take break from online dating right now.

I know this is stuff I need to work on in therapy. But I'm not sure my therapist is equipped? And for financial reasons, I can't leave right now. She's not bad at what she does. So I will bring it up to her again. Sometimes I think I don't give her enough credit. But as far as I know, she doesn't really do CBT. I know I need to advocate for myself though. She can't know what's in my head without me saying, and she will work with me.

Things that ARE going well: I feel the need to post what's going well, too, as a reminder to myself, that my life does not completely suck. So here are the things that are going well in my life: 1.) I have some friends. It's nice. 2.) I'm getting support from a mental health org and with their support, I'm moving out of my parents house next week. 3.) I feel a shift in my faith, and had a revelation today that I want to go to church, and that maybe living a Christian life can heal me. It seems to have really worked for some other people I know.

Thanks for listening.[
I completely understand what you are saying because I feel the same way that you do. This is exactly how I feel. Hang in there it will get better.