My life as I know it has crumbled. Just recently I have been diagnosed with bipolar. I don't know any specifics as to which type but if I were to guess I'd say type II. I hit major depressive episodes followed by periods of generally high feelings. Well.. I've been crying for help for awhile for the depression, and we finally found a medicine that seems to work (an anti-psychotic no less, used to also treat bipolar) and trying to keep it together, but it has finally broke. I know it's all my fault, but I don't really know where to go from here.

-I am suspended from my job for a month (2 weeks with pay, 2 without). That is going to cause a huge hardship on me because..
-I am in major debt
-In a depressive episode I totaled my car (was off my meds, I couldn't afford them).
-My marriage is falling apart

Everyone knows the absolute mess I am inside now. Yet there still isn't help for me. I'm not unstable enough to be hospitalized (and I don't even think that would help) and I'm not sane enough to get through the day without some catastrophe it seems or emotional struggle. I'm in a sad place right now. It's looking back and realizing somehow I slipped through the cracks for 26 years and suddenly it all fades away at once.

Anyway, on a side note -- could you guys tell me a bit about your experience being bipolar? My friends and family say they recognize it, but I don't see the "swings", I know I go into deep depression and when I come out of them, I'm just happy to feel OK. I don't know.. Just curious about A) how it affects you and B) How you cope with it?