I grew up in a family who had basically no social interactions. I had to sort it out on my own so in many ways I was just like you. Then I got married to a guy who had no interest in social interaction. All my life had been controlled by those around me who were awkward with socisl interaction & basically had very minimal experience. In other words i had no pne to learn from except for them & the contact I had a few hours at school each day. I had social contact on my own but it was always at a distance because it felt uncomfortable.

Then when I was 54, I brok out of that environment, moved 2100 milesvaway to where I knew no one & started life over. I learned I was quite capable of social interaction & even comfortable. What I also learned through therapy & research that both my Dad's behaviors & my H's were perfectky described by ASD which no one even knew about until I was in my 40's.

It is important to get the diagnosis so that you & the people arlund you KNOW what they are dealung with & can get help to live & deal the best possible ways they can with the behaviors that otherwise end up totally not understood & then bad feelings can grow rather than understanding & care.

I have been able to break free from what I lived with for 54 years of my life but not knowing what I was dealing with led to anger & bad feelings before I came to the knowledge that helped me with my understanding.

With a diagnosis you might get help with the social interaction but more importantly you will understand why you have the struggle in the first place & can grow from there to help you fulfill your pitential to your greatest abiluty.