Hello Bill: Well... I don't really know a lot about this sort of thing. But I do have a personal situation in my own life that I think is at least marginally relevant. I'll spare you the details. However... what I want to say is that, at least from my experience, people (including spouses & significant others) simply want you to be the person they want you to be. And the bottom line, so to speak, is that they won't really care what that does to your insides.

Perhaps that sounds harsh. But it has been my experience. You are the only person who is going to stand up for what you need & want. So you have to decide what is important to you & go with that. As long as you are willing to bend to your partner's desire for non-monogamy, your partner will be more than happy to let you. But if that is not what you want, not something you are going to be able to accept, then you need to hold to that preference. Might it lead to the break-up of your relationship? Yes it may well. And that's something you must take into account in making your decision. But sometimes you just have to make up your mind. I wish you well...