Over the last few weeks, I have been very aggressive, sometimes rude and often hostile towards other members..especially Sky and SeptemberMorn......

I have been to therapy today and spilled my guts....I haven't been for 3 weeks, and I have struggled with my own feelings and emotions greatly.

I have worn the old mask over Christmas and the New Year, keeping my family happy and not really practicing self care.

My mother, who was one of my abusers, let me down badly again...this is when I started to go down hill...I'm not making excuses for the way I've been on occasions, just explaining why...

My T said today I am in crisis mode again right now, feelings and emotions from when I was 15 are flooding me and I am becoming overwhelmed not only with what's going on from day to day, but also stuff from the past.

I sobbed like never before, just letting everything spill out...She has asked me to re visit my doc and try to change my meds...I have an assessment on 7 Feb an hour long to assess whether I have bipolar, clinical depression or whatever....

Please, I would like to say sorry from my heart, because I cant stand atmospheres and I just want to heal....I can only do this if all is well with the people I know and love on here....

Yes we have our differences, but I really dont want them to get in the way especially on this wonderful site.....

So I offer an olive branch Sky and Sept, I understand if you dont accept, but I would be grateful if we can just put the past aside and start afresh....Jinny xx