Hi Brentus,
Please know that it is not your fault that you have BP and are dealing with so much. I have many stories similar to yours. Sometimes I am so amazed when I am actually functioning in a reasonable manner.
For me, staying on my meds, seeing my therapist weekly and seeing my pdoc as often as needed, right now monthly, is what keeps me going. I had a major meltdown last May with awful consequences like yours and I am finally, just now feeling like I can trust myself again.
Try to take it slow, one day at a time. This is a great place to find support.
:Bluemountains