Someone who would do that-- or even say that-- does NOT love you. Someone who loves you would respect you and treat you well. This guy does not respect you at all. Based on his behavior, it doesn't ev sound like he likes you. He just wants to see what he can get away with. It's about power. It has nothing to do with how he feels about you or even you as a person. He doesn't care about you or your feelings; you're just an object for him to use when he feels like and discard when he doesn't. The things he said about wanting you to be stupid and passive are horrifying. Why would you want anything to do with a guy who doesn't value your intelligence or personality, and thinks it's better if you have no thoughts? He's being very clear. He doesn't want "you." He wants anybody with a pulse who is willing to be passive and let him abuse them. Any time you show your own thoughts or feelings, he gets annoyed and tells you to knock it off. Nothing could be clearer; he doesn't like any of things that make you "you." He doesn't want to know you. He wants to use a living body and yours will do if you stop being yourself and become an empty vessel.

There's no way he treats the "real" women in his life this way. You guys are long distance. He probably treats other women, who he knows in real life, with at least a little more respect or he would be in jail. He probably saves his worse for you because you're online so he can get away with more. Would it hurt you to realize that he probably has numerous women who he treats better?