I know. I can work on saying what I want, which is to be a big part of my kids lives. I also want control over how I live and over my finances. And I want to not hate my ex. I spent a lot of time being angry at my Mom who was an alcoholic and moved me all around the world. I am mostly lonely, I miss talking to my kids. I miss talking to my ex, but that is what divorce is. I have spent a lot of time defending and questioning myself while my ex's accusations come out of my kids mouths. I don't know what my ex wants but that is a good thing, because I am going to concentrate on what I want. His latest foray is that if I sell the house, he wants control over the money so he can invest it to get the best profit for the kids when they inherit it. I think I will stick with the divorce agreement that says I gave him everything in exchange for the house, 20% of which I will give him when I sell it. I get to be an adult, and in charge of my life - a new concept. They say that when you move away from an abuser, that is the most dangerous time, because the abuser has nothing to loose anymore. I would put my ex in the category of a controlling narcissist and me of being a co-dependant.