Last summer, I met with a man a lot older than me (he was 53, I was 18). He found me on a dating app I'm considering to use again but he's partially the reason I deleted it. Spoke to him for about a week via a messaging app and all seemed okay. Kind, caring, understanding.

Anyway, we go on the date and it's all good. He can tell I'm nervous and made it a little easier. Very easy going man. At the end of the date, though, he made a move on me and it got intimate. We didn't go all the way but we did something you wouldn't do with someone besides your partner. Afterwards, we talked about our past relationships; have I ever been with a girl, have I ever had a boyfriend. I asked him if he'd ever been with a woman and he tells me he's been married twice! I didn't think anything of it considering he was on a dating app for gay men so I assume they were in the past.

On my way home, he texts me and I ask again about the marriage just to be sure - it turns out, he's STILL married and he has three daughters. I ask him why he didn't tell me, he says "because you wouldn't have met with me" I ask why he cheated on his wife for gay men, he says "because I need to get away from a house full of girls"

I'm not at fault and I definitely do not blame myself. He lied to me.

What I'm struggling to cope with is the sadness I feel for his wife and their three daughters - they're probably oblivious to him hooking up with gay men a lot younger than him. What's worse is how I'M on the list of those men. I feel awful.

I cannot tell my therapist about this. She's married and I don't want her to mistake me for a homewrecker thus developing a bias.