I am sorry that you are losing your mother, it is the most
painful thing to lose your mother. You have no doubt heard
this so many times that you could scream. This is one more time: I know how you feel, but I really do. I had no plans to post anything anywhere, Just reading was all I have done since joining, Reading about your mother and your pain I felt I should try and post and share. My mother and I were never close until my dad died and then my mother was able to do what she wanted to without fear of
my father. We had finally able to get to know each other and found we liked each other, after about a year I was so enjoying for the first having a mother in my life, she became
sick and learned she had to have open heart surgery and
then she was going to stay with me while she recovered.
I fixed the extra bedroom just for her, looking forward to
her staying with me. She never came out of surgery. I was
angery felt it was not fair we were just getting to know each other so many feelings and emotions that words can't even describe. This was several years ago and times it feels like it was yesterday. My baby brother at twenty eight just finished collage and was at the world and then was told he had about a year and passed away four years after my mother did then this past april on the annaversay of my
brother's death my only family still alive had a massive stroke and died. The knife you feel sticking in you, the crushing pain that never goes away, you will feel you can not breath, all of this is part of greiving at least thats what I have read. All you can really do is make it one day then make it one more day and try to keep breathing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

dkwynn