I took a hot shower so I’m a little calmer. I don’t need Er tonight, I am safe tonight. Can’t leave the house. Nothing in the house to kill me.

I really really really can’t do IP. I can’t trust my mom to take care of my son. She gets too frustrated with his behavior. I’m worried she’ll do what she did to me which is storm upstairs and leave him alone. Plus I’m afraid going IP will traumatize him.

I start PHP tomorrow and hopefully see the dr and hopefully get a new AP bc I’m thinking this **** is not normal. I don’t give a **** what it is at this point.

Btw I’m talking to my friend and my sister In Law so I am talking to people.