Everyone I've ever looked up to walked out on me. They say I never leave them alone and always bother them. And almost every friend I've ever made were fair weather friends. They were only my friends when times are good and things are going well. At the first sign of hard times, they ditch me.

Recently, yet another person turned on me bc I looked up to her. Right now, I still feel I need a role model but at the same time, I'm too scared to let anyone else in. Likewise, I'm also afraid to make any more friends bc they will all ditch me during hard times.

THis is how I'm not like other people. Everyone else are able to make good friends who'll be there for them even (esp) during hard times. Everyone else also gets positive reactions from whoever they look up to.

Yet, I'm still grateful to be alive and breathing. I still try to see the good in everyone, even though it gets harder each day. And I'm grateful to still have what I have right now. I still have a few good friends, although it's too early to tell if they're really true friends. I've been ditched too many times.