Whoa. I have exactly the same thoughts daily... I've thoroughly read the works of at least three "anti-psychiatry" authors whose writings support your ideas, and once I asked my pdoc how he was able to sleep at night, knowing what he was doing to his patients' brains. I struggle all the time with this.

My overriding fear is this: I'm afraid of ultimately standing in judgment for my behavior. "Well, yes, I DID do/say these awful things, but you DO realize I was bipolar, right?" "No excuses, please."

OTOH, deep inside, I know that my extreme mood states and frantic swings have been spontaneous, unrelated to circumstances, and certainly not a result of unfinished business from any past or present unresolved trauma (I had an awesome childhood!). Most often, my outbursts have brought unwanted and negative attention, so it's not as if there's any reward.