so im coming to find out that several people i work with don't like me. one, in fact, hates my guts. so i try to figure out "what am i doing to make everyone hate me so bad?"

first off... the people that hate me - they smoke pot all the time, do drugs and drink constantly. one of them is the kind that loooooves getting into fights and then loves bragging about them. you know how 16 year old want all the respect in the world but never want to give any in return? yeah.... exactly.

well one of the kids (im his manager and he is like 22) called me a jackass and a *****. other people were present and agree that i did nothing to deserve that. so i waited til everyone was gone as to allow him to save face, and said "if you apologize to me right now i will clear the slate and not write you up. that is very disrespectful and rude and i dont deserve that treatment from you or anyone. so if you refuse, i will write you up" and he totally went off on me and refused to apologize. i tried to tell him that even if he doesnt like me thats no excuse to call me names. whether he likes me or not, im his boss. so he does what i say when i say it. thats just how it goes. i had to it, everyone has to do it. but he doesnt act like he has to. like he is above me.

i dont smoke cigarettes (anymore), dont smoke pot and rarely drink. and the whole partying thing just got old after a while. so their stories are just repetative and annoying to me. i dont sit there and call them stupid but when they talk about drugs its obvious that i have no idea what all the terms etc are so i just kinda zone because i dont even understand what theyre talking about.

none of them have given me a reason... they just hate me.

i remember reading an article that said in several studies done across the nation, men are seen as driven and motivated when they are assertive. women, on the other hand, are seen as being a ***** if they go for something they want or get mad when they are disrespected.

i talk to people the same on here that i do anywhere else and if anyone has had a problem with me on here we resolve it. i know i can come across as jerky sometimes but never to the extent that someone actually hates me and uses those words. i just dont know if i should even be worrying myself with it.

the people who hate me are people who i dont want to like me anyways. i would never hang out with them or form a relationship with them because we have nothing in common. but i dont "hate" them. i just keep beating myself up with picking and proading at myself trying to find out whats wrong with me. its making me very depressed and i try to act like it doesnt bother me but it does. but at the same time, i dont want to change everything about myself just for a couple people who i dont really even enjoy y'know?

i really dont feel like im a *****... i try to look at what i say and how i say it and i dont think i do, especially at work. so i kind of feel like they dont like me because i wont be their drinking buddy like the other managers. grrr.... i have never had this problem anywhere else. of course everywhere you go there will be someone who has a problem with you whether you know it or not. but never to this extent. i dont know if its me or if they hate me because i actually stand up for myself. ugh. luckily i have a T appt next tues. im more just venting and i think saying it out loud might make a difference but nothing so far.

at the same time, i feel like if i pin it off as them just being immature or whatever that im being self centered. i feel like the problem has to be me. because if i feel like "well he doesnt like me but thats because he acts like a 10 year old" that im putting myself up on a pedastle and i dont want to be snooty or self centered. im really at a loss with this.