I have a serious blog that I generally write in almost every day of the week, except for occasional weekend days. Since March 2016, I have written almost 200 posts, most of which are articles, narrative poems, reflections, short stories, or occasional photo challenge submissions. I don’t journal there. But I have noticed a major writer’s block these last two weeks. Actually, I fully wrote two posts, and partially wrote about four others, but none of them suited me in the end, so I didn’t post them.

I know that a lot of people with bipolar disorder sometimes complain about feeling “dull”. Well, I don’t exactly feel like that, but I am definitely not as inspired as I’d like. But my mind is not devoid of thoughts. I wouldn’t say they are racing, but there is stuff going on up there. Perhaps not the greatest stuff.

I don’t exactly feel hypersexual, but I do have a yearning to be wanted and admired. My husband very much loves and admires me, but I feel like I’m greedy and want even more.

I have been flirting with this guy I know from the past. He, too, has bipolar 1 disorder. He’s a divorcee (unlike me), and a very sweet guy. Lately I’ve had some daydreams about him, and to satisfy them I often go to see him at the grocery store, where he works. It’s almost like I’d like to seduce him. He flirts with me, too, which makes it all the more tempting.

My husband will be away from home for more than a week in the near future. I told this guy at the store that after he asked how my husband was. But I don’t think he asked how my husband was in a genuinely friendly way.

Who am I kidding here. This guy at the store is religious, and probably would never get involved with a married woman. I, on the other hand, could potentially have fewer scruples.

I just FINALLY went off Geodon after more than one year of being slowly weaned off. Is it possible that being off Geodon is causing this? I have also been overheating to an extreme. Just walking in the grocery store gets me sweating. But I’m not having any of the other withdrawal symptoms I had in the past (headache, nausea, dizziness).

I can just sense that something is amiss with me, and yet on the outside I seem perfectly fine. Has anyone experienced anything like I’m describing above?