I'm going through a period of being off meds as well, for similar reasons. I can't justify my decision to go off meds to myself or anyone else, it's just "something that I needed to do". I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not on some cosmic witness stand with a disapproving father figure grilling me about exactly what made me think that my decision was a valid one.

On a positive note - I'm 42 years old and have been dealing with mood problems since I was 15. I feel that I know myself as well as one is able to. I spent over a decade in talk therapy, often as much as once per week. I grew up in an abusive home, but my parents have been dead for 15 years and I have no other family. Most of all, I know what medications work for me: a moderate dose of Geodon and Zoloft, and a low dose of Remeron for sleep. If things do go south for me again, I know what I need to do.

Just wanted to say that you're not alone - and if you know yourself, you know what treatments work for you, and you're in a good place with the way that your living situation is and with your close relationships, then if there ever was a time to experiment... this is probably it.