Thanks everyone. I feel like I'm coming out of it, and now it's mainly anxiety over emails I sent and things I said to coworkers. I didn't do anything to problematic this time around. I just hope I don't crash now. I could ask process for an earlier appointment, but I don't know that she can help really, since my major trigger for this cycling is stress at work, which she can't do anything about. I talked to my manager to let her know what was happening, and she said I can take time off if I need to. So if it gets bad I'll see my pdoc and get a note for that. But I feel like I can't take time off right now, because too many people are counting on me, and I need to stay strong to help support the rest of the team.

I called an optional meeting this morning to have check-ins, and the group came up with some peer support ideas for each other. The Opioid crisis is just ripping our community apart, I've never experienced anything like this. I don't think anyone has unless they were old enough in the 80s to have worked during the HIV/AIDS crisis. So no one really knows how to react.

I'm really glad I didn't decide to do anything dangerous over the last couple weeks, and definitely feeling less pressured now.

I was stable for a long time, but started cycling in the summer, and it's been pretty rapid since then.

Thanks all