MC called (in response to a text I'd sent last night) tonight around 9:30. He said, "You texted and asked if we could talk for a few minutes?" I said yes and thanked him for calling, adding "Do you have a few minutes? Right, I guess you wouldn't have called if you didn't..."

He said, "Talk to me about what's going on, what you're feeling." I said, "I guess I'm still feeling weird about our...relationship (I stumbled over that word) from some of the stuff from the past couple sessions." I said how last session in particular it just felt like he didn't understand why I was upset (stuff where he'd asked if we were taking our daughter to kid-appropriate places). How he was trying to turn it back on me, with the saying that he's not responsible for my feelings (in response to something he said), I am. I said I knew that was technically true, but it was like I'd felt hurt by him but it didn't feel like he cared.

He started off being very stereotypical therapist-like, by sort of reiterating that "you're responsible for your own feelings" thing he'd said last session. I said how it was partly that I'd wanted an apology...not that I expected him to say he was wrong to ask what he did. He said it wasn't wrong, so he wouldn't have apologized for that. Something about how people are going to disagree with each other and question things and that's OK. That I can't expect people to just agree with everything I say and do. I said I understood that.

Then I said it was more that I wanted him to understand where I was coming from, why it bothered me, because it felt like my parenting was being judged. He said that I was generalizing, that he wasn't questioning my parenting in general. I said, "OK, that you were questioning that one particular aspect." He agreed. I said it bothered me in part because I already question other areas of my parenting...but not that area. So when he questionsedthat, it makes me feel worse about the other stuff. And I was talking to T2 about it, and he said that it was probably especially tough because parenting tends to be a very sensitive spot for people, and I agreed. Said to MC how I just wanted him to say something like, "I'm sorry if it seemed like I was judging you--it wasn't my intent." And then he actually said something similar to that back to me, but in his own words, including an apology. I was like, "thank you."

I said something else that was bothering me was that it felt like he'd been acting kind of weird to me since I told him I was going to start seeing T2. He said he wasn't aware of acting differently. I said it was hard to explain, that it just felt different. That I was concerned he had issues with me seeing T2. Like because I had left T1 at his practice to go see T2. He said, no it's fine, that he was "happy" I was seeing T2. I said OK, I wasn't sure because he'd said before how he hoped I could work through things with T1. Forget what he said to that.

I said (crying at this point, and off and on through 15-minute call) that I also worried that because I'd told him I was mainly switching to T2 to work on the transference for him...that I didn't know how he felt about that. MC said that transference and attachment are very common, that he doesn't want to pathologize me for that. How it's normal. And if I just needed a little more help with it, there's nothing wrong with that, nothing to be ashamed of. I said thanks, that I also thought he may have been thinking, "But I thought she was doing better with all that."

I said I also wondered if maybe it bothered him that I'd given him permission to tell T2 stuff but not the other way around. He said, "No, it doesn't bother me. It makes sense to just do what you're comfortable with when you're comfortable with it." He said he assumed T2 had told me they'd had a chance to meet and talk? I said no, they hadn't when I'd seenn T2 Wed. MC said that's because they didn't meet up till Friday. I wanted to ask him what he talked about, but I resisted and just said, "OK, that makes sense."

I apologized for texting and asking him to call, said I was just feeling really bad about things last night. He said I had nothing to be sorry about. I said, but with him having to cancel today today, and I didn't know the circumstances behind that--and I'm not asking--but that he might have had all this stuff going on, and here I am texting him and bothering him. How I'd tried to get through the week without e-mailing him, and figured we could just talk in session Monday. But then when he called H Saturday to cancel for Monday, it was like "OK, I can't wait longer." But that I'd tried. He said it was OK. That there was nothing wrong with reaching out.

I asked about whether we were on for Thursday at 10--had he gotten H's message? He paused for a minute, then said yes, that he'd had to check his calendar. I said I'd see him then. He said OK. So I thanked him for calling. He said "sure" or something like that. I said I felt better about things now, and he said good. There was a weird little pause, like maybe he was waiting for me to end the call? I said, "OK, so see you Thursday." He said "See you then. Take care." I said "You too."