Environment does really affect us. However, pain and conflict are a part of life. My therapist told me that suffering is a choice. The key is accepting that yes, in this moment, you are hurting - accepting it instead of fighting it and battling against it. Because when you fight it, you give more power to the emotion. For example (and this may or may not apply in your case): I feel afraid that I am going to say the wrong thing ----> I avoid saying anything ----> I feel ashamed for not saying anything. My thoughts may not be very clear here as I'm learning too but I hope you get what i'm saying. I'm not downplaying what you're going through at all, I understand how hard it is.