Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Sigh...this just so unhealthy.
First, it's okay to need help. Even adults need other people to lean on in their lives. No one deals with anything alone. We all need people to talk to.
Second, PLEASE see a therapist or even talk to your family or a close friend about what this guy is doing to you. You were on those meds to help you. He wanted you to stop taking them, even though they helped you, because of some side effects to your mood? This is your health and life we are talking about.
It's okay to like being submissive and BDSM, this isn't about that. What he is doing is beyond controlling, it's manipulative, and he isn't concerned with your health and well-being, which any partner, regardless of sexual lifestyle, will care about.
PLEASE see a therapist. And tell them everything you told us here.
I would also recommend you just cut off this guy completely. He is abusing you and hurting you. Getting him out of your life is imperative. I know it seems like maybe you won't find anyone else. But you are young and I assure you there are other men out there who will treat you with respect.
Seesaw
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A lot of this trouble is on me, though. I know that iīm not "normal". Had i been i would have blocked him without doubt. But i made a pact, i swore to myself to stay with him forever. to never be with another man unless itīs him. That even if he did not want me anymore i would be loyal to him. I know i am obsessive, crazy. Maybe if i went to therapy i could realize that there are other options for me in life.
Iīm too scared and ashamed to talk to my parents. I live with them, but we donīt talk about feelings. I donīt have any close friends. I do have the option to see a therapist or counsellor though (**** i canīt spell). Itīd feel so incredibly nice to unleash all of this unto another person. To tell them everything. But i would feel so guilty i would not know what to do with myself.