I touch a feather (even from a pillow) and I feel disease begin to spread on my hands, up my arms and to the rest of my body. My brain's back to attacking me and everything that I do. It was telling me that my friends don't actually care about me, that it's all just pity. I told my friend last night what my head was saying and she reassured me otherwise. You'd think that would help, but I think I was hoping for confirmation. That would mean that no one would be upset if I didn't wake up one morning. A woman also few at the windshield, yesterday. I'm also pretty sure there are cameras in my house and I'm constantly being watched. And finally, I'm in charge of handing out candy tonight.... This should go well.

Sorry for all of my complaining, lately. I've just been needing to vent.

On a side-note, my friend finally got her car so that means she can escape her toxic family whenever she needs to. I feel a lot better knowing she has this option.

Anyway, those are some of my current thoughts. And yeah, I've missed a couple days on my AP. It's so sedating that I can't take it if I know I need to wake up early, like I have had to for the past couple days and again tomorrow.