Quote:
Originally Posted by Northchild
I'm going through a period of being off meds as well, for similar reasons. I can't justify my decision to go off meds to myself or anyone else, it's just "something that I needed to do". I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not on some cosmic witness stand with a disapproving father figure grilling me about exactly what made me think that my decision was a valid one.
On a positive note - I'm 42 years old and have been dealing with mood problems since I was 15. I feel that I know myself as well as one is able to. I spent over a decade in talk therapy, often as much as once per week. I grew up in an abusive home, but my parents have been dead for 15 years and I have no other family. Most of all, I know what medications work for me: a moderate dose of Geodon and Zoloft, and a low dose of Remeron for sleep. If things do go south for me again, I know what I need to do.
Just wanted to say that you're not alone - and if you know yourself, you know what treatments work for you, and you're in a good place with the way that your living situation is and with your close relationships, then if there ever was a time to experiment... this is probably it.
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I'm new to this site and can't for the life of me figure out how to navigate around it, but I'd like to comment here. I've taken lots of "drug holidays." Even though I have bipolar I, "severe," I have long (once 3 years!) of relative stability, and then things deteriorate rapidly. My doc says he doesn't mind if I make this decision as long as we have a plan because, as he says, "it WILL happen again." There are really only 2 drawbacks to this: 1) I may not be aware that things are spinning out of control, and 2) the meds may not be as effective, if at all, when they're re-started. The tradeoff, to me, is that my liver/kidney function will hopefully be preserved, and I have a full emotional range off of meds. BTW, I'm on meds right now.