Nikon, you seem like a sensitive and caring person. I'm very sorry you're feeling tortured by angry thoughts.

I don't have any practical suggestions. I just wanted to echo So's message.... that you're not alone.

Is it worth remembering that some people see suicide as murderous thoughts turned on the self. They'd ask, 'Who are you really angry with?"

In other words, admitting to anger shouldn't surprise a therapist.

Best wishes.