It’s too hard to have and maintain friendships. It takes a lot of energy, and I’m a different person when I’m up vs. down and anxious.

If honest, I’m bitter about losing some friends. One drifted away when she got a boyfriend. Frankly, I don’t think she would recognize my personality anymore. I’m just down and anxious more than I used to be since my husband passed away.

My most recent friend moved away not long ago. She annoyed me sometimes wanting to go out when I was down. And a hypomanic event freaked her out.

I’m tired of ups and down and how different I feel.