thanks for the support everyone. I'm still on the fence about being honest about all the thoughts but probably slightly more thinking about telling my therapist. with the angry/violent thoughts i also just feel really awkward and embarrassed because when I've mentioned things like that previously my therapist has subtly tried to check that I'm not going to do anything violent. like, asking me, but trying not to ask directly: so do you know the difference between thinking this and actually attacking someone?
i guess saying these things and being asked questions around them makes me feel crazy and inadequate.