Follow your own heart and needs. She is getting grown and has to learn to relate to other grown people! She isn't a child anymore that can hope to get her way because of her disabilities? Nasty doesn't cut it! Like you said, "While she is delayed she is also rude and cruel." No "excuses" anymore. The rest of us have to be civil and she can be too; there's no reason whatsoever, delayed or not, to not be civil!